Food resolves conflict

In the UAE, the importance of food is obvious, especially during Ramadan, when almost everyone in the country fasts from sun-up to sun-down, and feasts with family and guests every night for a month. While the longest American holiday lasts about 3 days, Emiratis fast and feast for 30 days, and socialize and give gifts and food to friends and strangers.
Whenever someone in our office celebrates a special occasion such as the birth of a child, a graduation, or a car purchase they bring a large display of chocolates and offer some to each person in the office. Now that it is date season, one colleague brought in a large dish of fresh dates from his trees to share.

The two most remarkable food events in the office involved Knafe and Mansaf, one a traditional Lebanese desert, the other a traditional Jordanian meal. First, I must explain that the men in our office are highly communicative and emotive. The men nose kiss, hold hands, and put their arms around each other. They take each other to doctor’s appointments and hospitals. They talk about their kids, wives, girlfriends, and share specifics of their salaries and performance reviews. During the performance review process, several staff asked me “How could you give so-and-so a 5 rating on inspections when you only gave me a 4.5?”

I attribute the emotive culture to the reason that a professional meeting turned into an airing of grievances during which 3 individuals accused the others of not considering them professionals, etc. I did not attend but I did hear loud voices coming from the room and the meeting dragged on for 2 and a half hours, leaving several people escalated and upset.

The meeting was re-scheduled for the following week. A few hours before the meeting, rumors started flying about a knafe coming. Everyone gathered in the conference room to wait for it, joking and talking. The legendary dish finally arrived, a large flat pan full of warm, mild cheese under a sweet breaded topping. People handed each other generous offerings and moved quickly to serve people before someone else did. After enjoying the delicious desert, everyone settled down to the meeting. One colleague explained to me later, “They brought the knafe to say everything is ok and we forgive each other for what was said last week.” Google knafe and you can see some pictures for the dish.

Next time I’ll tell you about Mansaf.