Emirati Wedding: Bling on Parade

Gowns: Imagine Cinderella’s ball in vivid, dark colors. Half the dresses sported trains; most were bling-encrusted and sparkly. One guest wore a white dress of satin and tulle- perhaps a desperate attempt to upstage the bride. Even the little girls wore over-the-top dresses and hairstyles. Five women had waist-length hair; two with hair to the knees. The Emirati next to me confirmed that most have their hair, makeup, and henna done at salons. There was an abundance of fake eyelashes and some pretty spectacular henna designs on hands and feet.

Setting: Fancy hotel ballroom with massive chandeliers. An elevated runway, where women danced and the bride entered, led to a stage with an elegant white sofa and silver pillows. Beautiful flower displays graced the 40 round tables. Lights dimmed and swirled like a major theatre production.

Food and Beverage: An abundant spread of hummus, tabouli, vine leaves, eggplant salad, flat bread, and other appetizers was artfully spread across the table. Women servers (no men allowed) circled to offer fried dough balls dripping with honey, delicious chocolates from ornate displays, Arabic coffee, hibiscus and rosewater iced tea, and soft drinks. As soon as the bride sat on her throne, the full feast appeared: a massive platter of rice and goat; dishes of curried chicken, okra stew, and fish in a red sauce; a plate of mixed grilled chicken, steak, and lamb kabob; and salads. Suddenly, the chocolate mousse, umm ali (bread pudding), flan, fruit salad, and local pastries appeared. Servers roamed again with tea and coffee in delicate, intricately-decorated cups and tiny cakes.

Music: Loud Arabic music punctuated by ululations and greetings. (I want to learn how to ululate but only saw one woman in action.) Woman sauntered up the runway to dance barefoot. Some tied scarves around their hips to accentuate belly-dance-like grooves; others shimmied shoulders and delicately waved hands. One woman got up to do the traditional hair-waving dance. Follow these simple steps: swing hair to one side, bounce, swing to other side, bounce again. End number by swirling head side to side letting hair swoop down, up and over, and back down. My friend Clare asked, “Who says these women are oppressed?”

Bride: All eyes turned to the door to see her enter in a shimmering white wedding gown with full hoop and ten-foot train. The sleeveless dress accentuated the henna designs that reached from her hands to her shoulders. She gracefully moved about an inch per minute as if in slow motion. Her sisters and other women in the audience reached down to fluff and straighten her train as she took one step; turn and posed on one side; stepped, turned and paused again. It took four women to hoist her dress up the steps to the runway. She looked as magical as a fairy-tale and completely different than the chemical engineer with no makeup and full black abeyya and shayla I’d seen at the office. Eventually, she arrived at the stage; waited for attendants to adjust her dress so she could sit; and small groups of women approached to congratulate her before dancing before her on the stage.

Noticeably absent: Alcohol, cameras, and men. The only camera that appeared all evening was the official one for the bride. Emirati women generally do not approve of photos of themselves. My friends explain that a photo of oneself that appears on the internet, TV, or elsewhere can decrease marriage options. Many women cover their faces completely with a black shayla when a camera appears in a room. However, brides often have one official camera to document the day, but only show the photos to other women and male family members. I wish I could have taken my usual thousand photos.

After dancing and feasting for a few hours, a sudden hush descended as women began covering themselves with their black abeyyas. Once all covered except the bride, the bride’s brother, father, and father-in-law entered from the men’s wedding party, followed by the groom dressed in a traditional white robe covered with a long black and gold robe. The little brother twirled a wooden gun and threw it in the air like a baton. The brother and fathers left and the groom took a seat next to the bride. Later, the groom cut the wedding cake with a sword.

I was mesmerized for over four hours watching these beautiful creatures celebrate, bond, and search for brides for their brothers. One son’s mother saw her desired daughter-in-law at a wedding and it took her two years to find out who the woman was. Families are quite secretive about the number and ages of their daughters. The bride’s name is usually not printed on the wedding invitation. My only regret the whole evening was missing the henna party two nights before. The girls sitting next to me said it was as equally elaborate, only the bride wore a traditional Arab dress and showed off her gold dowry.