Girls Night Out

“In case u don’t know me im very tall, dark black face, but beutiful, very fat with 2golden teth in front.” This was the text I received as I was about to meet my Emirati coworker’s wife who wanted to show me “women’s things in Abu Dhabi.” When I entered the lobby, a petit, thin Arab women in traditional black dress and headscarf approached me. I could tell from the start this woman had a quick sense of humor.

We walked to her plum-colored Mercedes and she gave me a gift: a compact mirror with a shiny pink and pearl inlay pattern. We commenced our journey doing a drive-by of the Iranian market at Meena port, where one can buy large potted plants and giant shiny buckets; past the Corniche, where hundreds walk by the sea every evening; past the newly opened public beach, some of the Sheikh’s palaces, and to the massive new Abu Dhabi landmark, the white marble Sheikh Zayed “Grand” mosque.

Four times during the tour we stopped for about 20 minutes. We entered the Ladies’ Club, a large fitness center, pool, grounds, and kids’ area where a world of uncovered women socialized, exercised, and enjoyed time with their children. At one point she had to drop by her house and ushered me into a living room with eight couches and shut the door. After 2 minutes of silence the door burst open and 8 kids entered the room. They introduced themselves as cousins, daughters and sons. The next stop was a Japanese dollar store on top of the gold souk (an entire mall dedicated to jewelry) where I could purchase any type of home item from a spatula to potting soil. Then we swung by Marina Mall where we browsed in a hardware/furniture store and a perfume store. I made the mistake of complimenting a perfume she was spraying and later that night was the recipient of a $100 bottle of Chanel Chance.

After about 4 hours of touring it was 9.30 pm and I was planning to wind down and go back to sleep. She said “I want to take you to dinner.” So we went to her favorite Lebanese restaurant and ordered a feast: pineapple juice, lemon juice with mint, tomato/cucumber salad, grilled chicken, hummus, and flat bread stuffed with meat. After we ate about 1/8th of the meal we were both stuffed. She said “please take this home to your husband” and then proceeded to order another grilled chicken, tabouli, and falafel to go with the immense amount of food.

Topics of conversation included:
How she and her husband finally got custody of his Russian daughter from his first marriage
Nanny’s with too much power in families
Horrifying treatment of servants by some people
Benefits of marrying another Emirati (she married her cousin)
How she got 5 months paid vacation to care for her sick sister in London
The fact that mother’s receive $200 per month for each child they have
Her friend’s husband who took the Filipino nanny as a second wife
Her sister-in-law who allowed a second wife to come on board since he agreed to never discuss the second wife, to buy her a separate house on the other side of town, and to never bring wife #2 to any family gatherings

This evening with my new sister (she said we must have the same DNA because we both like movies and perfume) reiterated some beautiful aspects of Emirati culture: the feeling of generosity and abundance, unity of women, laughter, and kindness.

Ramadan in Abu Dhabi

Having spent the bulk of my 31 years in Seattle and Utah, the vicarious experience of the Muslim Holy Month of Ramadan has naturally eluded me. Now, with a couple months in the United Arab Emirates under the proverbial belt, I have a have a small window into this dynamic time of spirituality, service, hunger pangs, and subsequent feasts. Many of the people I have spoken with regarding their thoughts on Ramadan have been (who else?) mostly Pakistani cab drivers. (The vast majority of cabbies in A.D. hail from the delightful little town of Peshawar Pakistan--claim to fame: birthplace of Al Queda- among others, I am sure.) These men, usually clad in traditional robes of every pastel color imaginable, have shared some of their thoughts on Ramadan. The majority said that people in the UAE seem to be a bit kinder and a bit less edgy during Ramadan, including Emirati nationals. This is remarkable considering most are fasting from sunrise to sunset- roughly 5:30 AM to 6:30 PM.

Most people expressed a feeling of increased spirituality in being able to turn their thoughts to serving the poor, and being more united with them (at least united in hunger). The local government has set up large white tents throughout the city in which the “less fortunate,” mostly Pakistanis, Afghanis, Bangladeshis and Indians from what I can see, queue for free food every evening during Ramadan. Sometimes I will peer out of our 16th floor apartment where we are staying temporarily and listen to the magical sound of the call to prayer (which occurs 5 times a day) blasting out of the large minaret of the neighboring mosque and echoing off the buildings of downtown. I look down to the street to see a sea of pastel robes gathering around a large white tent bearing the words Ramadan Kareem (a seasonal greeting). The meal that breaks the fast during the Holy Month is known as iftar (not to be confused with Ishtar, the worst movie ever made, starring a much younger Dustin Hoffman). At least for Emirati nationals, iftar is often shared with family and friends, gorging on hordes of traditional Arabic foods, never short on the ultimate Ramadan staple: the date.

Around sunset the streets are almost empty as people head home to eat with their families. This is for the best, as most of the accidents will happen in the late afternoons as people become delirious or enraged after a day of fasting. Then, soon afterward, the streets begin to throb with energy as people head out on the town, filling shi-sha (flavored tobacco) bars, restaurants, and malls, usually busy until the morning hours. The malls, which are ironically and perhaps unfortunately the main places during the hot sultry summer months to view the masses of humanity in action in this town, are packed with Emirati men and teenagers in the traditional kandora (white robe with white or red/white checkered headdress), women covered from head to foot in the traditional sheyla ( black headscarf- sometimes covering even the face) and abeyya (black floor-length robe), kids running wild in unsupervised packs. Last night we got out of a movie at 1:00 AM and the buzz was still at full-throttle, showing no signs of abating. I suppose there is a reason Ramadan lasts for only a month, terminating in Eid al Fitr at the end of September this year. Eid is when people often leave town and recover from the nocturnal lifestyle of Ramadan.